Lately, I’ve been thinking and writing a lot about Winter, and practicing what I write and think about, concerning Winter, in a sort of hibernation period. I feel that if I write about something, and what I write places a standard or challenge on my behavior, then it is something that I must follow through with. And so, I have been continuing to practice hibernation as much as possible. As I’ve done this, I’ve been growing in my understanding of Winter.
I didn't pray for an understanding of Winter over the past couple weeks, during my hibernation. I thought I would focus on something else during this period. So, it’s been kind of surprising. I’ve only prayed that I would get a bit of Winter, a bit of snow this year, here in Georgia. But anyhow, I won’t go into all the details, won’t write a memoir about it maybe ever. But, below are some writings I’ve read over the past few weeks that have led me to thinking about Winter and, ultimately, death. This has also been contributing to my thoughts for my upcoming sonnet - sonnet 2.III.
A few weeks ago I was perusing Substack, and I came across a lot of cool stuff, the first of which was
‘s The Little Blue Room. The two pieces she wrote that drew me in were about Winter. The more poignant piece for me though, was this one on Winter and grief, and the idea that stood out to me most was about being able to see things in Winter. Most of the time, we human beings, myself included (except, not really, lately, because it’s been growing on me) can despise Winter and not take time to see and appreciate the good of it. But, if we take time, and just sit in the Winter and cold, and sit in grief and the pain of it, there are beautiful things, and mysteries, that couldn’t normally be seen when much foliage blocks our view of things. I think I’ve come across this thought somewhere before; maybe from is where I read it initially? Anyhow, it’s not anything new, but it’s felt more intimate to my life lately, especially after my dad passed away last May.Another piece that I spent time to read was this one on The Notes of Rest Fellowship about practicing restraint, by
. It’s a Winter related piece in that it calls us to rest, just as the Winter season calls us to rest. But, it struck me specifically in the area of the American/White (or is it human?) tendency to want to do more, control everything, and save everyone. He challenges Christians in this piece, in particular, to be countercultural and to be “marked not by doing excessively more, but through restraint…” I think about this quite often, actually, as I’ve learned over the years that God can do so much more to change things in the hearts of people, than I ever could in my human effort. I’ve been learning to stick closely to God, and when he tells me pray, to pray; when he tells me talk, to talk; when he tells me act, to act; and when he tells me sit and restrain yourself, to sit and restrain myself.The above idea has been further reinforced in a book that is soon releasing, which I’ve gotten to read the first five chapters of, by Becky Beresford, called She Believed HE Could, So She Did. ( ←—- that link will take you to a pdf from the publisher for the first two chapters - for free!) As can be guessed by the title, the overall main idea in the book is depending on God - on the Holy Spirit living inside of us - to help us to do what he wants us to do and in his time. By extension, this is a call to restraint and rest. The book covers many other cultural cliches and their Biblical responses, such as You Be You vs. You Be His; Follow Your Heart vs. Follow Your King; and The Future Is Female vs. The Future Is Found Together. I’m looking forward to the full release of the book on March 5th, which I think reading will be a great way to end my current hibernation, which I’ve vowed in my heart to remain in until the Spring equinox.
Sonnet 2.III - BTS
Besides all of the above things that I’ve read, I’ve also been contemplating Christ’s death and resurrection again lately. Death is a type of Winter, I think. Winter is a dead time, obviously - and by that, I mean, it’s a common comparison. Winter is what poets compare the last leg of life to. I actually don’t know what exactly other poets and writers have said about Winter and death. But for me, as I think about comparing life to seasons, I think about comparing the end of Fall with the time right before death, and death with Winter. And with this, I’ve been thinking again about the moment when Christ was on the cross, and when right before he died, he cried out, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” I think that, in this moment, there is a key to dying for us humans. I don’t know how I’m going to die. Or when. But, I think I need to tie this prayer that Jesus prayed, into my thoughts and prayers about dying.
Over the past couple of years, as I’ve lived through some health concerns of my own, have lain on my couch wondering if soon I would be taking my last breath, I’ve found comfort and relief in committing my spirit to God like Christ did. But, how do I comfort myself about death when I am healthy and I really don’t know how or when I’ll die? When I’m not on a deathbed and expecting death? Again, I think looking at Christ in this moment before his death is key. And also, I think that being assured of resurrection is key, too. Just as life will bounce back after the Winter season is over - at least as it has done in the circumstances of peace that I’ve been living in my whole life - so, in Christ, will human lives bounce back after death. And, just as life will spring forth after chrysalis for a butterfly, so will human life, in Christ, spring forth after death. Just as Christ resurrected from death, because He was God and God cannot die, so I, too, as I commit my spirit to God in Christ, will resurrect with Christ after death.
Anyhow, these have been the readings I’ve been reading lately, and my thoughts lately, concerning Winter and death and resurrection and life, that have influenced my upcoming sonnet 2.III release.
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Sara I so appreciate you, and I'm glad we can practice restraint together. God bless your Winter.
I definitely have associated winter and grief together. I grew up in Southern California where there was never much winter to be had. When I moved to DC I was horrified by how much winter there was to be had. There wasn't even that much winter compared to North of that. I'd get depression during the winter. I had a friend encouraged me to move into the rhythms of hibernation during the winter. It really helped. It made it more purposeful and meditative. Now that I live back in Southern California I actually miss winter. I love being able to go outside all year round but I have to make my own version of seasons of hibernation. (For me that's No Hustle November most of the time.) I definitely see the aspect of grief in winter.
@joymarker (actually I don't know if that's her substack name but you can find her online that way) has also been writing about leaning into the rhythms of winter which you might appreciate.